The question - that should you propose marriage, or should you say yes to his/her proposal haunts many of you in relationships. When should you marry? What are the pre-requisites for that? Let us find out.
The first need, of course, is that both of you love each other. It should not be infatuation or plain old lust, but love. To be in love means, you like to be with that person. You enjoy his/her togetherness. You care for her/him and you can trust that person. Being in love means that you can share your deepest secrets without fear and give and expect support. Being in love means that your object of love is the most important person in your life and you would not like to leave him/her for anybody else. If any of these conditions are not met, it is not love but something else. Oh, yes, one last requirement - your heart should pound every time you talk to your loved or look at him/her.
If you are in love and if your partner reciprocates it with the same intensity then the next would be interests. What is common between both of you? If he is a liberal and you are a conservative to the core, life would be a little difficult. We are not talking in political terms, but about attitude and values. If you do not value what he/she values, your relationship will not prosper. If your values say that you must be honest at all times, and his/her values allow lies now and then, you are sure to get into a conflict after some time.
The third requirement is life goals. Are you sharing common goals? Your goal may be to earn lot of money even at the cost of family life and his/her need may be to live happily even if money is less, you will again clash. Values and goals are important. They play a bigger role in life after the initial euphoria of love is over. The last need is - are you feeling safe committing to him/her? Are you feeling safe committing or would like to search around more? Once you can decide that all these are in the right place, you should marry. Otherwise, life may be full of acrimony, dissatisfaction and regrets. It will not be a happy marriage but a marriage that has to be carried through. That will give no pleasure.
the rule of care (meet each other's most important emotional needs), the rule of protection (avoid being the cause of each other's unhappiness), the rule of time (schedule time each week to give each other undivided attention) and the rule of honesty (be totally honest with each other).
Marry the man who has everything you want, at least at the time of your marriage.
The first need, of course, is that both of you love each other. It should not be infatuation or plain old lust, but love. To be in love means, you like to be with that person. You enjoy his/her togetherness. You care for her/him and you can trust that person. Being in love means that you can share your deepest secrets without fear and give and expect support. Being in love means that your object of love is the most important person in your life and you would not like to leave him/her for anybody else. If any of these conditions are not met, it is not love but something else. Oh, yes, one last requirement - your heart should pound every time you talk to your loved or look at him/her.
If you are in love and if your partner reciprocates it with the same intensity then the next would be interests. What is common between both of you? If he is a liberal and you are a conservative to the core, life would be a little difficult. We are not talking in political terms, but about attitude and values. If you do not value what he/she values, your relationship will not prosper. If your values say that you must be honest at all times, and his/her values allow lies now and then, you are sure to get into a conflict after some time.
The third requirement is life goals. Are you sharing common goals? Your goal may be to earn lot of money even at the cost of family life and his/her need may be to live happily even if money is less, you will again clash. Values and goals are important. They play a bigger role in life after the initial euphoria of love is over. The last need is - are you feeling safe committing to him/her? Are you feeling safe committing or would like to search around more? Once you can decide that all these are in the right place, you should marry. Otherwise, life may be full of acrimony, dissatisfaction and regrets. It will not be a happy marriage but a marriage that has to be carried through. That will give no pleasure.
the rule of care (meet each other's most important emotional needs), the rule of protection (avoid being the cause of each other's unhappiness), the rule of time (schedule time each week to give each other undivided attention) and the rule of honesty (be totally honest with each other).
Marry the man who has everything you want, at least at the time of your marriage.
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