Become Your Spouse’s Best Friend

Your marriage is a living example of what it is like to be in a close relationship with you.

Photo courtesy of ©iStockphoto.com/Renphoto

Unfortunately, we live in a culture that is very me-centered. Gail and I often talk to people who are frustrated with their spouses. Most of this stems from the fact that they are not getting what they think they need or what they think they should be getting.
I am not saying that it is wrong to give voice to your needs. I am saying that it is often an ineffective way to get them met, unless you first sow the seeds of giving and servanthood. (This is also good practice for being a leader in any sphere of life.)

If you are, then I would recommend three steps:

1. Make a list of what you would want in a best-friend. If you were going to advertise on List for a best friend, what would the ad look like? Perhaps it might look like this:
   Wanted: Best Friend Prospective candidates will:

   • Make me feel good about being me.
   • Affirm my best qualities (especially when I am feeling insecure)
   • Call out the best in me, and hold me accountable to the best version of myself.
   • Listen without judging or trying to fix me.
   • Give me the benefit of the doubt.
   • Extend grace to me when I am grumpy or having a bad day.
   • Remember my birthday, favorite foods, music, and art.
   • Know my story and love me regardless.
   • Spend time with me, just because they enjoy my company.
   • Speak well of me when I am not present.
   • Serve me with a joyful spirit and without complaining.
   • Speak the truth to me when no one else will.
   • Never shame me, diminish me, or make me feel small.
   • Become excited about what I am excited about.
   • Celebrate my wins!
2. Now become that person for your spouse. That’s right. Turn the table. Make this a list of the kind of friend you will become. I can promise you this: anyone who does half of these kinds of things will have more friends than he or she knows what to do with. But what if you focused this effort on your spouse? Think of the possibilities.
3. Keep sowing the seeds, until the relationship blossoms. How long will it take to create this kind of relationship? It all depends on where you are starting. For some, it might be several months. For others, it might take years. Friendships are like gardens; they must be cultivated. The key is to be consistent and persistent—without expectations.

This is really nothing more than the application of the Golden Rule to marriage: “Do to others what you would want them to do to you”.
If couples would invest in one another like I am suggesting, the divorce rate would plummet. Romance is important. Sex is too. But a solid friendship is the foundation of everything else.

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Friendship, Love, Romance - Everyone has a story

Everyone has a story...
It's not how you tell it,,,
It's How You LIVE it..!!!

Friendship, love and Romance are special part of life...
To Live for your dream is the only thing that makes you go on & on & on...

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Life Before Wedding (LBW)

Telugu Cinema has come up with very good realistic movie. I liked it and would like to share it if you
have not seen it. So here it goes.


The film is all about the ever-changing relationships that influence the
lives of different people.


The film has two parallel stories which chronicle the lives of these six characters
and how their relationships change over a period of time.
The film revolves around two stories, six main characters and their journey
make certain decisions that will set to change their lives irrevocably.


Story one : Rishi (Siddhu) and Jai (Abhijeet) are good friends living in Hyderabad.
While Rishi is a little temperamental and hyperactive, Jai is quite cool and like the saying opposite
poles attract, they become good friends. They come across Anu (Nishanti Evani).
Anu is a systematic, principled girl and is quite reserved girl. She does not
entertain Rishi, who attempts to flirt her. This helps Jai to get close to Anu
and develop friendship, which turns into love finally. While this triangular
love story runs in India. Jai got an offer to work abroad. He went away for work but
Anu`s parents started finding good match for her marriage.
Anu asked Jai to come and marry her but he got so busy in her work that coudln`t
come back to India to marry Anu. Finally Anu`s marriage fixed to some other guy.
He came in the end just before one hour left in marriage and asked to stop the marriage
but in vain. He lost Anu and regrets about it.


Story two : Another love story runs parallel in Dallas,U.S.A. Rajesh (Rohan) and Radhika (Chinmayi)
are also good friends. Once Radhika feels like she was in love with Rajesh and
proposes him. However, Rajesh is under the impression that theirs is a deep
friendship and rejected her offer. Now, Varun (Asif Tej), an Indian-born American
enters their lives. Varun develop friendship with Radhika which turns into love
and they both get married. Now Rajesh aslo realised her love for Radhika but its
too late and he lost Radhinka and regrets about it.

BUT BUT BUT

In a twist of fate, the events change dramatically and as situations
unfold between the characters, they stand at crossroads where future is staring in
their faces with changes irreversible!

DESTINY has its own plans.
In The END : Rajesh and Anu both who lost their love and get married by chance.

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Tribute to Our Friendship

Days were filled with tears
Moments were filled with pain
Thoughts were filled with memories
Dreams were filled with nightmares

Till not long ago I though it was impossible
To find the friend most search for all their life
I lost so many friends as years came and went
After all I've been through
After all those who left my life

I never thought I'd find a friend as good as the ones I've lost
A friend who'd be by my side and who'd listen to my thoughts
Maybe these are just words
Maybe it'll all change with time

Even though we only know each other from far, far away
Even though the Internet is the only communication we share
I Trust you more with every word
I would stand by your side when no one else would
I would tell you the truth even though it might hurt

The words I'm trying to say is that you are one of my true friends
You know what I feel, you know my little ways,
You never judge me, you never have.

You're there for me to wipe the tears
You're always there to lend a ear
Maybe someday you'll forget my face, you'll forget who I am,
But I will always know to be true
That there aren't many friends as good as you

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Virgo - MY ZODIAC SIGN

Virgo! About Your Sign...

Virgo is the only zodiacal sign represented by a female. It is sometimes thought of as a potentially creative girl, delicately lovely; sometimes as a somewhat older woman, intelligent but rather pedantic and spinsterish. The latter impression is sometimes confirmed by the Virgoan preciseness, refinement, fastidious love of cleanliness, hygiene and good order, conventionality and aristocratic attitude of reserve. They are usually observant, shrewd, critically inclined, judicious, patient, practical supporters of the status quo, and tend toward conservatism in all departments of life. On the surface they are emotionally cold, and sometimes this goes deeper, for their habit of suppressing their natural kindness may in the end cause it to atrophy, with the result that they shrink from committing themselves to friendship, make few relationships, and those they do make they are careful to keep superficial.

But the outward lack of feeling may, in some individuals born under this sign, conceal too much emotion, to which they are afraid of giving way because they do not trust others, nor do they have confidence in themselves and their judgments. This is because they are conscious of certain shortcomings in themselves of worldliness, of practicality, of sophistication and of outgoingness. So they bring the art of self concealment to a high pitch, hiding their apprehensiveness about themselves and their often considerable sympathy with other people under a mantle of matter-of-factness and undemonstrative, quiet reserve. They are still waters that run deep. Yet in their unassuming, outwardly cheerful and agreeable fashion, they can be sensible, discreet, well spoken, wise and witty, with a good understanding of other people's problems which they can tackle with a practicality not always evident in their own personal relationships.

Both sexes have considerable charm and dignity, which make some male Virgoans appear effeminate when they are not. In marriage they can be genuinely affectionate, making good spouses and parents, but their love making is a perfection of technique rather than the expression of desire, and they must be careful not to mate with a partner whose sex drive requires a passion they cannot match.

They are intellectually enquiring, methodical and logical, studious and teachable. They combine mental ingenuity with the ability to produce a clear analysis of the most complicated problems. They have an excellent eye for detail but they may be so meticulous that they neglect larger issues. Also, although they are realists, they may slow down projects by being too exact.
They are practical with their hands, good technicians and have genuine inventive talents, Thoroughness, hard work and conscientiousness are their hallmarks, and they are such perfectionists that, if things go wrong, they are easily discouraged. Because of their ability to see every angle of a many-sided question, they are unhappy with abstract theorizing. Appreciating the many different points of view as they do, they find philosophical concepts difficult, and they vacillate and have no confidence in any conclusions at which they arrive.

With these qualities, they are better as subordinates than leaders. Responsibility irks them and they often lack the breadth of strategic vision that a leader needs Virgoans are essentially tacticians, admirable in the attainment of limited objectives. Their self distrust is something they project on to other people and tends to make them exacting employers, though in the demands they make on those under them they temper this attitude with justice. They have potential abilities in the arts, sciences and languages. Language especially they use correctly, clearly, consciously and formally, as grammarians and etymologists rather than for literary interests, yet they are likely to have a good memory for apt quotations. Although they are well suited for careers in machine drawing, surveying and similar occupations, they are better fitted for a job in a library or office than a workshop.

Their minds are such that they need the stimulus of practical problems to be solved rather than the mere routine or working to set specifications that need no thought. They are careful with money and their interest in statistics makes them excellent bookkeepers and accountants. They also make good editors, physicists and analytical chemists. They may also find success as welfare workers, ministering to those less fortunate than themselves. They can be doctors, nurses, psychologists, teachers, confidential secretaries, technologists, inspectors, musicians, critics, public speakers and writers especially of reference works such as dictionaries and encyclopedias. Both sexes have a deep interest in history, a feature recognized by astrological authorities for at least two hundred years. If they go in for a business career their shrewdness and analytical ingenuity could tempt them into dishonesty, though they usually have enough moral sense to resist temptation. Female Virgoans may find a career in fashion, for they have a flair for dress, in which they can be trend setters. In any profession they choose the natives of this sign readily assimilate new ideas, but always with caution, conserving what they consider worth keeping from the past. They love country life but are unlikely to make good farmers, unless they can contrive to carry out their work without outraging their sense of hygiene and cleanliness.

Their faults, as is usual with all zodiacal types, are the extremes of their virtues. Fastidious reticence and modesty become old-maidishness and persnicketiness; balanced criticism becomes carping and nagging; and concern for detail becomes overspecialization. Virgoans are liable to indecision in wider issues and this can become chronic, turning molehills of minor difficulties into Himalayas of crisis. Their prudence can become guile and their carefulness, turned in on themselves, can produce worriers and hypochondriacs.
Possible Health Concerns...

Virgo is said to govern the hands, abdomen, intestines, spleen and central nervous system. Illnesses to which its natives are prone include catarrh, cold, coughs, pleurisies, pneumonia and nervous instabilities. Their natures make them inclined to worry and this makes them vulnerable to stomach and bowel troubles, including colic and ulcers. Male Virgoans may have trouble with their sexual organs. Both sexes are strongly interested in drugs and esoteric cuisine and as their delicate stomachs require them to be careful about their diet, it is essential that they treat their fascination with exotic food with extreme care.

horoscopes

* LIKES Health foods
* Lists
* Hygiene
* Order
* Wholesomeness

* DISLIKES Hazards to health
* Anything sordid
* Sloppy workers
* Squalor
* Being uncertain

PROBLEMS THAT MAY ARISE FOR YOU, AND THEIR SOLUTIONS

As with all sun signs, we all have unique traits to our personalities. When these traits are suppressed, or unrealized, problems will arise. However, with astrology we can examine the problem and assess the proper solution based on the sun sign characteristics. As a Virgo you may see things below that really strike home. Try the solution, you most likely will be amazed at the results. If you find yourself on the receiving end of the negatives below, it is because you are failing to express the positive.

Problem: Finding yourself frequently alone and unable to keep friends for more than a few weeks.
Solution: Try not to be argumentative over much and the constant criticism that Virgos give to their companions are not endearing qualities to have. Try to live and let live, they will love you for it.

Problem: People tend to avoid making close contact with you.
Solution: Being too preoccupied with health and making it a continual topic of conversation. Try to keep your tips and suggestions about health and health products to yourself unless asked for them.

Problem: Dissatisfied with the way your life is turning out; no excitement or change to speak of.
Solution: You may be restricting yourself by reducing your life to a set of theories and pigeon-holes. Try to express the positive by first asking yourself, Who or what are you serving; are you devoted or are you enslaved. Answer those questions and then start a new path that includes your true worth.

Problem: You may feel that your life and your climb to success is a steep hill that you may never be able to scale.
Solution: Try expressing the positive traits of your finely tuned analytical reasoning, employing the light touch with employees and coworkers, while expressing genuine concern for all; You will find those mountains turning into hills that you run right over.

horoscopes

Your ruling planet is MERCURY

Mean distance from the Sun (AU) 0.387
Sidereal period of orbit (years) 0.24
Equatorial radius (km) 2,439
Polar radius (km) 2,439
Body rotation period (hours) 1,408
Tilt of equator to orbit (degrees) 0
Number of observed satellites 0

The Virgin is the entity that is associated with your sign. The above picture is of the grotto in Lourdes, France where the Virgin appeared to the children. In the upper right you will see a statute of The Lady. The Virgin imparts purity of intent to the actions of the persons born under the sign of Virgo.

The colors for Virgo are GREEN AND DARK BROWN

Starstone is Sardonyx

Starstone is the beautiful, SARDONYX. The Sardonyx can be found with many different colored bands on it but the one suggested for Virgo is that of the reddish brown variety. It is in the quartz family and is mined around the world.

Some Famous Virgoeans That Share Your Sign!
August 23, 1970 - River Phoenix - Actor
August 24, 1770 - Friedrich Hegal - Writer
August 24, 1944 - Chris Chubbock - Celebrity
August 25, 1918 - Leonard Bernstein - Conductor
August 25, 1918 - George Wallace - Politician
August 25, 1930 - Sean Connery - Actor
August 25, 1933 - Regis Philbin - TV Personality
August 25, 1947 - Anne Archer - Actress
August 25, 1954 - Elvis Costello - Singer
August 26, 1819 - Prince Albert - Royalty
August 26, 1904 - Christopher Isherwood - Religious Figure
August 26, 1921 - Zipporah Dobyns - Astrologer
August 26, 1923 - Richard Attenborough - TV Host
August 27, 1871 - Theodore Dreiser - Writer
August 27, 1908 - Lyndon Johnson - President USA
Auguat 27, 1910 - Mother Teresa - Humanitarian
August 27, 1929 - Yasser Arafat - Political Figure
August 27, 1931 - Sri Chinmoy - Religious Leader
August 27, 1939 - Pee Wee Herman - Comdian
August 27, 1943 - Tuesday Weld - Actress
August 28, 1749 - Johann V. Goethe - Writer
August 29, 1876 - Frances Kettering - Engineer
August 29, 1907 - Don Loper - Designer
August 29, 1962 - Maeterlinck - Historical Figure
August 29, 1915 - Ingrid Bergman - Actress
August 29, 1938 - Elliot Gould - Actor
August 29, 1958 - Michael Jackson - Singer
August 30, 1797 - Mary Godwin Shelley - Writer
August 30, 1943 - Jean Claud Killy - Skier
August 31, 1880 - Queen Wilhelmina - Neth. Royalt
August 31, 1903 - Arthur Godfrey - Entertainer
August 31, 1908 - William Saroyan - Writer
August 31, 1916 - Daniel Schorr - Jounalist
August 31, 1924 - Buddy Hacket - Actor
August 31, 1928 - James Coburn - Actor
August 31, 1949 - Richard Gere - Actor
August 31, 1950 - Arthur Bremer - Criminal
September 1, 1875 - William Rice Burroughs - Writer
September 1. 1907 - Walter Reuther - Union Official
September 1, 1924 - Rocky Marciano - Boxer
September 1, 1938 - Alan Dershowitz - Attorney
September 1, 1939 - Lilly Tomlin - Comediene
September 1. 1957 - Gloria Estefan - Singer
September 2, 1919 - Marge Champion - Dancer
September 2, 1948 - Terry Bradshaw - Sports Figure
September 2, 1951 - Mark Harmon - Actor
September 2, 1961 - Michael Thiessen - Astrologer
September 3, 1935 - Eileen Brennan - Actress
September 3, 1943 - Valarie Perrine - Actress
September 3, 1965 - Charlie Sheen - Actor
September 4, 1530 - Ivan the Terrible - Royalty
September 4, 1824 - Anton Bruckner - Composer
September 4, 1896 - Antinon Artaud - Writer
September 4, 1908 - Richard Wright - Inventor
September 4, 1913 - Micky Cohen - Gangster
September 4, 1918 - Paul Harvey - Broadcaster
September 4, 1920 - Craig Claiborne - Writer
September 4, 1929 - Tomas Eagelton - Politician
September 5, 1912 - John Cage - Musician
September 5, 1913 - John Mitchell - Politician
September 5, 1927 - Paul Volcker - Federal Reserve
September 5, 1902 - Darryl F. Zanuck - Producer
September 5, 1929 - Bob Newhart - Actor
September 5, 1940 - Raquel Welch - Actress
September 6, 1888 - Joseph Kennedy Sr. - Famous Family
September 6, 1860 - Jane Adams - Social Worker
September 6, 1944 - Swoosie Kurtz - Actress
September 7, 1887 - Edith Sitwell - Writer
September 7, 1900 - Taylor Caldwell - Writer
September 7, 1924 - Daniel Inouye - Politician
September 7, 1943 - Peter Lynch - Financial Wiz
September 7, 1936 - Buddy Holly - Singer
September 8, 1841 - Antonin Dvorak - Composer
September 8, 1889 - Robert Taft - Politician
September 8, 1922 - Lyndon Larouche - Celebrity
September 8, 1924 - Grace Metalious - Writer
September 8, 1925 - Peter Sellers - Actor
September 8, 1948 - Sam Nun - Politician
September 9, 1890 - Jimmy “the Greek Snyder - Celebrity
September 9. 1925 - Cliff Robertson - Actor
September 9, 1941 - Otis Redding - Musician
September 9, 1951 - Michael Keaton - Actor
September 10, 1929 - Arnold Palmer - Sport Figure
September 10, 1934 - Charles Kuralt - Journalist
September 10, 1945 - Jose Feliciano - Singer
September 10, 1948 - Margaret Trudeau - Political Wife
September 10, 1953 - Amy Irving - Actress
September 10, 1924 - Tom Landry - Sports Figure
September 11, 1862 - O. Henry - Writer
September 11, 1885 - D.H. Lawrence - Writer
September 11, 1932 - Bob Packwood - Politician
September 11, 1940 - Brian Depalma - Director
September 11, 1962 - Kristy McNichol - Actress
September 12, 1880 - Henry L. Menken - Writer
September 12, 1888 - Maurice Chevalier - Actor
September 12, 1940 - Linda Gray - Actress
September 13, 1819 - Clara Schumann - Composer
September 13, 1857 - Milton Hershey - Industrialist
September 13, 1905 - Claudette Colbert - Actress
September 13, 1944 - Jacqueline Bissett - Actress
September 13, 1948 - Nell Carter - Actress
September 14, 1879 - Margaret Sanger - Activist
September 15, 1789 - George Fenimore Cooper - Writer
September 15, 1857 - William H. Taft - President US
September 15, 1880 - Agatha Christie - Writer
September 15, 1922 - Jackie Cooper - Actor
September 16, 1638 - Lousi XIV 'Sun King' - Royalty
September 16, 1924 - Lauren Bacall - Actress
September 16, 1926 - Rev. Robert Schuller - Religious Leader
September 17, 1907 - Warren Burger - U.S. Justice
September 17, 1931 - Anne Bancroft - Actress
September 17, 1948 - John Ritter - Actor
September 18, 1916 - Rossano Brazzi - Actor
September 18, 1962 - Refrigerator Perry - Sports Figure
September 18, 1905 - Greta Garbo - Actress
September 19, 1928 - Mickey Mouse - Cartoon Character
September 19, 1941 - Cass Elliot - Singer
September 19, 1948 - Jeremy Irons - Actor
September 19, 1949 - Twiggy - Model
September 19, 1950 - Joan Lunden - TV Personality
September 20, 1853 - Chulalonghorn, Siam - Royalty
September 20, 1878 - Upton Sinclare - Writer
September 20, 1928 - Dr. Joyce Brothers - Psychologist
September 20, 1934 - Sophia Loren - Actress
September 21, 1874 - Gustave Holst - Composer
September 21, 1866 - H. G. Wells - Writer
September 21, 1931 - Harry Hagman - Actor
September 21, 1944 - Hamilton Jordon - Press Secretary
September 21, 1947 - Stephen King - Writer
September 21, 1950 - Bill Murray - Actor
September 22, 1932 - Ingemar Johansson - Boxer
September 22, 1960 - Joan Jett - Singer
September 22, 1960 - Tai Babilonia - Skater

The Zodiac is made up of 12 different sun signs. Your date of birth determines which one you are. Chek out yours..

* Aries - March 21 - April 20
* Taurus - April 21 - May 21
* Gemini - May 22 - June 21
* Cancer - June 22 - July 22
* Leo - July 23 -August 23
* Virgo - August 22 - September 22
* Libra - September 24 - October 23
* Scorpio - October 24 - November 22
* Sagittarius - November 23 - December 21
* Capricorn - December 22 - January 20
* Aquarius - January 21 - February 19
* Pisces - February 20- March 20

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The Power of Three Little Words

Some of the most significant messages people deliver to one another often come in just three words. When spoken or conveyed, those statements have the power to forge new friendships, deepen old ones and restore relationships that have cooled. The following three-word phrases can enrich every relationship.

I'LL BE THERE - Being there for another person is the greatest gift we can give. When we are truly present for other people, important things happen to them and to us. We are renewed in love and friendship. We are restored emotionally and spiritually. 'Being there' is at the very very core of civility.

I MISS YOU - Perhaps more marriages could be salvaged and strengthened if couples simply and sincerely said to each other, "I miss you." This powerful affirmation tells partners they are wanted, needed, desired and loved.

I RESPECT YOU - Respect is another way of showing love. Respect conveys the feeling that
another person is a true equal. It is a powerful way to affirm the importance of a relationship.

MAYBE YOU'RE RIGHT - This phrase is highly effective in diffusing an argument and restoring
frayed emotions. The flip side of "maybe you're right" is the humility of admitting "maybe I'm wrong."

PLEASE FORGIVE ME - Many broken relationships could be restored and healed if people would admit their mistakes and ask for forgiveness. All of us are vulnerable to faults, foibles and failures. A man should never be ashamed to own he has been in the wrong, which is but saying, in other words, that he is wiser today than he was yesterday.

I THANK YOU - Gratitude is an exquisite form of courtesy. People who enjoy the companionship of good, close friends are those who don't take daily courtesies for granted. They are quick to thank their friends for their many expressions of kindness. On the other hand, people whose circle of friends is severely constricted often do not have the attitude of gratitude.

COUNT ON ME - "A friend is one who walks in when others walk out," Loyalty is an essential ingredient for true friendship; it is the emotional glue that bonds people. Those who are rich in their relationships tend to be steady and true friends. When troubles come, a good friend is there, indicating "you can count on me."


LET ME HELP - The best of friends see a need and try to fill it. When they spot a hurt they do what they can to heal it. Without being asked, they pitch in and help.

I UNDERSTAND YOU - People become closer and enjoy each other more if they feel the other person accepts and understands them. Letting others know in so many little ways that you understand him or her is one of the most powerful tools for healing your relationship.

GO FOR IT - Some of your friends may be non conformists, have unique projects and unusual hobbies. Support them in pursuing their interests. Rather than urging your loved ones to conform, encourage their uniqueness-everyone has dreams that no one else has.

I suppose the 3 little words that you were expecting to see have to be reserved for those who are special; that is I LOVE YOU.

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