Bosses usually have a strong sense of
recall (if your boss is the forgetful kind, then yoo-hoo! for you), so you
better watch out what you say to them.
What you say today could land you in
trouble in future if you’re not careful with your words. There is a reason
they’re the boss and you are well, you. There are things better left
unsaid. Like they say, if you don’t have anything positive or productive to say
to your boss then shut up and eat your fries! (Or something like that).
For those of you who lack tact, we’ve
compiled a list of what not to say to your boss. (We asked bosses, of course.)
1. “Do I really
have to get this finished today?”
Yeah Sherlock, you do. D’uh. You’re
being paid to get it finished, aren’t you? Or were you sucked in by some sort
of a tornado of misinformation – one that made you believe that it’s the water
cooler conversation that’s getting you the top reviews? Apart from managing
their own life, your boss has the added responsibility to manage you and other
members in your team – don’t add to their burden by being noncommittal. Do your
job before you log off. Hey, that rhymes. Sweet. Now get back to work.
2. “Give me a
better desk now or I quit!”
And I wanna sing along the streets of
Venice. How do you expect ultimatums to work out with someone higher up in the
power structure? Throwing tantrums never helped anyone; even a 4-year-old will
vouch for that (after they’ve grown up). Take the mature road and understand
that an open dialog always works.
3. “Umm… isn’t
it my turn for a promotion yet?”
Oh hell yeah! Why not just go for
gold and become the CEO instead? Why bother vying that VP or SVP position?
You’re obviously flowing with the self-entitlement needed to embarrass
yourself. Well, here’s the thing, those guys probably worked their tails off,
took risks, and braved many obstacles instead of sitting in a corner and
sulking about their ill fate. If you want to be taken seriously at work and not
treated like a 9-year-old, quit whining and get productive.
4. “That’s not
my problem.”
Ahem, but your boss says it is. So,
you don’t have much choice now, do you? The responsibility to rectify the
problem fell into your lap. Stop wasting precious time throwing silly questions
around and take the opportunity to be a part of the solution. Your
boss wouldn’t have approached you if you weren’t capable of
handling it. So, buckle up and get it done.
5. “Just tell me
what to do and I’ll do it.”
Playing a damsel in distress will
gain you no sympathy from your boss. You have been selected for your position
for a reason, you know. If the boss has to instruct and direct every assignment
then the boss may as well do the job. Based on intensive third-party research
and in-house surveys (which we also like to call ‘common sense’) — being
proactive and far-sighted hasn’t killed anyone yet.
6. “That’s the
best I can do!”
If everyone is just to keep
repeatedly mouthing these words, why don’t we all throw our hands up in the
air, buy tickets to Tahiti and forget about even trying to do great work? Instead of taking
the defeatist way, how about you look at your work and see how you can improve
it — make it better in whichever way you can? Adopt the problem-solver
approach, become a valuable asset to your company and maybe you’ll actually
start enjoying the challenges that you’re currently bogged down by.
7. “Why can’t
you have XYZ get this done instead?”
And while they are at it, can they
can start on my other unfinished assignments too please? Well, go ahead and
take the week off, or maybe a month, why even better, just stop showing up for
work altogether! XYZ can take care of everything, thank you. Nobody likes
themselves a lazy employee who can’t even run to the cafeteria to get their own
chocolate donut. If your current work doesn’t motivate you, do
everyone a big favor — find out what you enjoy doing, drop what you’re doing,
and get started with the former instead. Not too hard now, is that?
8. “It’s 6 PM
and I am leaving.”
Only sitting ducks count hours.
Unless you’re Paris Hilton’s third cousin’s cocktail friend — the social life
can wait. The idiot box and your fluffy couch won’t be going anywhere anytime
soon either. Every organization faces a crunch situation from time to time, the
leadership expects all hands on deck during such times. If you’re going to be a
little, riddled-with-homework-kid about it — well, buy a cotton candy and go
home really. Nothing much to be done here.
9. “That’s what
she said!”
Innuendos are a strict no-no at work.
Just because it sent you running on a laughathon when Steve Carell and team
said it in The Office doesn’t mean it’s okay to replicate it at your
workplace. You may not only get a cold stare from your boss, but you will also
be at risk of being sent to a ‘well wisher’. Nobody fancies themselves a
branded ‘office perv’ (at least most normal people certainly don’t). So hold
your tongue in front of your boss (not literally though — that would be just
weird as hell) and leave the off-color jokes for your obnoxious drink buddies.
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