A Casual Relationship or Something More?

Everybody knows that humans are social creatures, but we are also lonely creatures. We all enjoy company.

Company not just from friends and family, but from that special person that we can share sweet nothings and simple pleasures and pains, someone who we can build a whole new life with, someone who we can raise a family of our own with. A basic need of every person is to find a life mate. And the most popular method used for this is dating.

When we talk about dating, know that we aren't talking about just a step towards sleeping together. Dating is much more than that. It is the first step towards choosing a life partner and online dating has made the whole process a lot simpler.

Now what you do and what you want is entirely your business. I don’t want to sound like I am getting in your business but I would like to point out the differences between the kind of dating that is involved if you are looking for a casual relationship or if you are looking for a more serious relationship..

Obviously in a casual relationship you are looking for fun. And mind you, fun can mean many different things. Here the person you would look for is obviously someone who doesn't want a serious relationship.

If both of you are on the same page then it is all good because you understand each other perfectly and don't expect much from such a relationship. This leaves no room for heartbreak.

It's when one of you is in for something more serious and the other is into only fun that the problems start. So you should be absolutely clear about what you are looking for from the start, and you should make your intentions very clear to the other person.

At the same time you should have no doubts about the intentions of the other person as well. Remember, even if it is a casual relationship, there should be mutual understanding about the nature of the relationship.

Of course, there is always a possibility that a casual relationship can turn into something more serious. But, again in such cases it is your instincts that can help you identify what is good and what is bad.

No matter how strong a person is, anyone can be taken for a ride or be taken for granted. Being deceived or dumped is not a nice experience. So those of you who are going in for a casual relationship, be on your guard! Marriage is altogether a different story but we will deal with that later.

Read More

Friends First

I think you should look at internet dating not as a prospective husband/wife hunt but as an effort to make a lot of friends, and I mean good friends. Friends that you can laugh with, friends who make you laugh. Not everyone can make us laugh, and when I say laugh, I am not talking about some comedian. I am talking about friends here.

Friends make your life richer. The best thing about friends is that you can be yourself with them and they can be themselves with you. And that means letting it all out. Remember, that besides being your husband or wife, your spouse should be your best friend as well.

That is one mistake that most couples make. They tend to look upon their friends and their spouses as separate. While it is perfectly ok to have your own friends, your best friend should always be your husband or wife.

They should be someone you can share your dreams and fears with, someone who understands, someone who can give your hand a gentle squeeze when things go wrong and someone who can brighten up your darkest day.

All this is a very far cry from sex right? That is why I did mention earlier that looks and sex should be the last criteria in the selection of a life partner. The marriage proposal must come as a natural sequence and it should by no means be the first thing that comes out as soon as you warm up to a person. You cannot very well say something like, “hey, you know what, I think we have the same tastes so let’s get married.”

I hope you have got the hang of what I meant by working backwards now? Good. You are ready to move on now.

Read More

Hey Krishna.. I dont want too much

Its been like this all the way through.

Just work hard for another x no of days/months/years and then ur life will be a lot better,I AM TOLD.work hard during 10th boards,ull get a stream of ur choice, n life is better.work hard during 12th boards, n ull get into a good college n ur life will be better still.work hard fr MBA,ur life will be gloriously better than ever.

this is what i was told,or rather i imagined them to be true.

but today when i am lounging here in office PC,i pause to wonder-
Is my life better,or is it just my CAREER which is better?

I admit that i suspect my career is on the right track n ill be able to feed my children two meals a day n send them to a decent english medium school.but my life is much more,more than just career.

Maybe I m not Ambitious. I dont know if this is a normal thing but I am happier eating dal-chawal sitting on the floor at my home rather than having lunch at the Taj with Vice president of a multinational .I feel happier sitting on the kitchen floor chatting with mum rather than brainstorming at some air conditioned office.I prefer watching Romantic Movies rather than watching powerpoint presentations at a corporate meeting.
I know that i need money.everybody does.but its just an instrument to get what you want,to make ur family happy being one of them.n if u sacrifice these ultimate sources of happiness for money,well..then, I dont get the idea.its like having a pen but not having the time to write a poem.i see old couples living alone,supporting each other's frail lives while their successful children are attending meetings at the silicon valley.it is said that the best ne parent can wish for is the child's success,but i dont accept that this old mother who spent her life caring for this child,and is now left to live her life hoping that the child will remember to call her from his apartment in california,doesnt feel the hurt.

so i just hope that i am not so "successful",that i dont care for the little but real joys of life.i dont want a big car or a mansion or a job which pays me like crazy but makes me crazy with all the workload.

yea,i can do without a great CAREER , but give me a great LIFE god.

Read More

Mujhsai Shaadi Karoge..?

I need to wake up to the fact that choosing a life partner is a decision as huge as Jupiter. And I need to find a boy who is happily excited to see me gossiping all day with him.

I have had the coffee-movie-pizza thing with friends who are boys, but in some years, I will need to find a boy whom I understand and who understands me and decides much more than which pizza to order. And finding him is not easy, considering that I think boys are indirect, complicated, get angry too fast and ask questions only to hear the answers they want.

I want a guy who respect girls, has a gud sense of humour, take care of me, has values in life & who says BIG NO to "Smoking, Drinking & Non - Veg".

So all this, and add to that a thick Gurgaon traffic and a cellphone which keeps ringing, and life gets a little jumpy for me at 22.

In a childish sort of manner, I want to ring up god and ask him “Hey, can you rewind my age by four years, I am not exactly ready for this!”, but I think he will just bang down the receiver.


But if I look at the overall stuff, I need to bring back some balance in my life. I need to ask myself some questions. I need to find some answers. How do I do that? I will figure it out right after I finish this blog.

Read More

Ordinary Sunday

If you read the last post here , and more importantly , since then did not undergo some ‘bada hee bhari sadma’ which took away your ‘yaddasht hamesha hamesha ke liye ’ , you would remember that there was something wrong with the sound of my Computer . I mean , the sound of the Computer had gone poof . English movies dekhne mein tho problem nahi thee , because I did not understand what they were saying anyway , and the himesh videos actually felt better without the voice , but I was missing out on all the hindi movies .

So I took away the Computer to get it repaired. It had been three long months and three long days without a Computer for me when I get it repaired. And there it was ,Computer sitting proudly on the Computer Table in my living room.( kaafi bada lag raha hai.. bahut dino baad jo dekha hai , Adnan Sami pura iske andar reh sakta hain ).So all those reading this , please pause for a moment , close your eyes , look up at the stars ( Oye , eyes close karne ke baad stars ko look kaise karoge ?) , and send a little thanks to my Computer .

And after a long time , something went perfectly fine in my life .
Now .. Everythg is Hot & Happening

2day.. I m going 2 njoii Chak De India & Hey Baby!
So all you Delhi gals , lock your boyfriends in refridgerators ( sacchi , you should have met me when I caught that 103 degree fever , I was so , so , hot .)

I know aap logo ko bhi samajh nahin aa raha hoga ki mai kya kya likhe jaa rahi hu.. Infact mujhe bhi nahin aa raha hai.. so dont take tension, pair dukh jaayenge khamakha..

Actually mujhse khushi sambhal nahin rahi naa.. isliye plz tum hi sambhal lo.. kekeke.

Read More

Me With Myself

In my Life`s Journey, I just enrolled myself in MBA Programme from ICFAI.

Actually,I couldn't do my job now without having an MBA but, on the other hand, I can't claim that I use particular skills or techniques in my job that I will learn in the MBA. It's more that it gave me a general sense of confidence and a grounding in all business areas and types of people.

Also, I m planning to invest in Share Market as Sensex is @ towering heights.
I m positively looking forward to it wen I dont know anythg abt it(lolz...).

Looking for a new job too.. (agar koi ho to batana.. itne kam paiso mai guzara nahin hota yaar!) as I have to gift a Car to my dear sweetheart & lovely MOM on her 25th Marriage Anniversary.

so much work to do & still I m writting a Blog..
k.. guys I know I know I gotta go now & start performing actions to implement plans running inside my mind..

Catch ya laters!

Read More

Ofcourse.. love exists!

Well. We all are living in “Scientific Age” & we look for the reasons & proofs to believe on anything.

We ask, Air exists or not?

If it is then why can’t we touch it.

We get its logical answer & start believing. Right?

But have ya ever thought that if we still didn’t be able to find its existence then,

Is there no air available on this Earth?

Second thing, I am not cheating to myself & I never do.

Yes, It is true “Respect” is the building block of “Love” but that doesn`t mean that “Love” doesn`t exist.

“If I believe in love I should also have reason to believe, that without empirical evidence,things exist, like GOD.”
Well, it was a good question and one that I was not prepared to answer. Nevertheless, I was compelled by the philosophical ideas that were presented and needed to spend time thinking about how I can answer that question of LOVE.
Here is a quote that could solve a lot of problems if people lived by it:
‘You are so young, my son(and daughter), and, as the years go by, time will change and even reverse many of your present opinions. Refrain therefore awhile from setting yourself up as judge of the highest matters.’ - PLATO
How can one prove that love exists? For that matter how can one prove that any emotion, or feelings exists? Compassion, hate, fear, calm, excitement, joy, amazement, fortunate, pleased, angry, irritated, hostile, mad, violent, skeptical, lost, and the list goes on! As far as PROVING any of these, NO - you cannot. The question really should be: “Is it RATIONAL to believe that you LOVE someone or that someone LOVES you? And I would say that the answer for me is a resounding YES. It is very rational.
Love is shown in so many ways. A wink, a smile, a look, a hug, a kiss, and if you love someone more than average, it may be shown through selfless acts, sacrificial compromises, lifelong commitments, in marriage, or as a parent raising their child. This is evidential basis for a rational belief that love exists. However, evidence is open for debate and can be wrong, but in the end I believe the existence of LOVE is rational.
I believe that conversation can be cut short because of something called Faith.
What about Faith? Does that count for anything. Of course it does. I will never be able to disprove God to a man/women of Faith. That is why I don’t engage in these conversations too often, because they come to a stand still when faith comes into the conversation. I see faith as a roadblock to logical discourse, and I also understand that logical discourse doesn’t matter to most who have Faith or the other side of that.
Faith disregards any evidential type of conversation.
What does it come down to then if I can’t prove that God doesn’t exists or prove that he does? It means that for each person we must choose between a few options about the beginnings of time. (there may be more that just a few options but these are the main ones…)
1. That God exists
2. That God doesn’t exist
3. That you don’t know.
I personally believe that no one knows for sure.
It is the most honest I can be with myself. Now this obviously brings up a ton of other questions… but that part can be for later.
I look forward to hearing your response if you would be so kind.
DISCLAIMER: I reserve the right to change my beliefs, as a matter of fact, I have done so many times and that is why I am always willing to engage in conversations about GOD, the UNIVERSE and EVERYTHING at anytime.

Read More

Likes versus Dislikes

The next thing that you should do is make a list of qualities that you genuinely dislike in a person. No, I am not joking! Ask yourself what are the deal breakers. Dislikes are just as important, or even more important than likes. We all have to make compromises here and there, but if you start out by ignoring or accepting things which you really dislike, at sometime or the other the truth will come out.
I would like to add a word of caution here. A lot of people make a mistake when they are dating. They put up their best behavior which is very good of course, but they try to be very adjusting and accommodating which is NOT very good. A point that they tend to over look is that they are not going to be on a camping trip with this person that they are trying to impress; they are going to be living the rest of their lives with the person. So it is best to be yourself.
If you think that you will be able to change the persons offending habits, forget it. The moment you start trying to change someones habits, whatever they may be, you become a ‘nag’ and if the person does drop the habit, he or she will love you less for it.
It really doesn’t work that way. So it’s best to have a clear idea about qualities and habits that you really dislike in a person and stay away from people who have those habits.
Once you have a fairly clear idea about your likes and dislikes you are in a better position to make the right choice. And considering all the people out there, don't start worrying that you might not find any one at all. He or she is out there, and if you keep looking, you will find them.
Some people believe that every thing is all right. That it has been written down who should marry who and in the end only the things which should happen will happen. Well, I don’t know about that, but I do know that dating helps speed up the process.

Read More

I'm Lonely; It Feels Just Like This:

Lonely days of my life!
As I look back I see
nothing.
No way to go, no path
to follow.
It seems as I have never been
alive in this world.
Broken wings of wind, covered face
of sun, clouds with their
wet eyes,
and fallen leaves
surrounding me
Is all I see.
Lonely for such long time
I have been,
is what I feel.
but I only have a letter
as a sign of my
existence that says
it has been 21 years since
I have died.
And today is
my 22th birthday!

Read More

Answer 2 ur Comments..

Fst of all.. Thx a lot guys 4 such an participation..
Its really a nail-biting experience (ki.. kya hoga next.. ) in reading your comments..

Also, you voted for your Blog Star.. But still only 13 votes came..
I think i will wait for some more votes & den declare it 2 u..

Today I will answer your comments in my this post as I also feel like commenting on ur views..

May I...?

k.. here it goes..

@ Acoustic Dreamer..

Ok.. I agree with you that "Whatever is not proven does not exist" but if "Love" doesn`t exist then "God" also don`t exist according to you as it is not yet proven.

There will always be mystery beyond our knowledge. Learning to be comfortable in the tension between affirming our faith and asking questions about our faith in the next is to accept our human frailty.

Jesus said,"The more enlightened you become as an adult, the more childlike will be your wisdom"

I don't claim to be right or wrong. I understand that many do not believe as I do and I don't ask of proof or evidence to support their beliefs..

But I believe "My god is the force that encourages evolution, given that evolution is moving in a direction of unity,diversity & unconditional love."

Also,an emotion which you describe,"A Feeling which just not a notion, or just a part of an evolution....its a aggression born by Rebellion Soul of Social Revolution"
But I feel, "Love is an emotion that can make you weaker or stronger... It depends on how you use it."

@ Rahul Sharma..

There is no such thing as "True Love" or "False Love".
If it is "Love" then it is true ofcourse and if it is not true then it is not "Love" but a mere "Lust".

@ Neeraj Goel..

Its not always about "Veer Zara".
Its not always necessary that A Love Story ending up with a Painful sacrifice is more TRUE than A Love Story with a Happy End.

Yes,Love do seeks sacrifices but an happy ending love story is a successful one.

@ Deepti Singh..

The more love you want to experience, the more love you must give away. We all seek love . . . we all want to be loved. And yet love can only be ours if we give it to others. The more we give, the greater is the return. Trying to control or possess love is like trying to hold onto a sunbeam. It cannot be done.

umm.. It was gr8 discussing wid ya all..

God Bless ya..!!

Read More

@ Cafe Coffee Day

I looked around at all the "couples" who sat around me.Holding hands.Shy smiles.Loud giggles.People in "love" maybe.

Love. As in , the "boy-girl" love.

You would have heard this word."Love"
It is as overused a word.For a bollywood director , "love" must be the greatest invention ever .

My friend says he is in "love" with the girl who works at the second floor of his office.I am told the punjabi girl in my class is in "love" with the hairy south indian guy in the next class.The other day , I saw the boy who hands out the food in my office canteen , with the girl who does the dishes.Maybe , they are in "love" too.
Even the cyber world is bustling with desperate flirts who hope to find "love".

And then this boyfriend-girlfriend thing.Its like a toothbrush.You got to have one.

" Hi , I have brain cancer."

Thats ok , we all gotta die anyways.

"Hello , I got limphoosirkoma of the intestine."

Chill , Rajesh Khanna in "anand" had it too.

"Namaste , my house burned down last night."

Arre tension nahi yaar , these things happen.

"Hey , I dont have a girlfriend."

What ! Why did not you tell me about this ? Oh poor boy , everything will be fine.God can be real cruel sometimes...

So love is like the neighbourhood gossip .Everybody knows about love.Talks about love.

And the way this "love" word is used , leaves me feeling strange.

I feel there are two different aspects.To love someone.And to be loved.It is said "to be loved" is a natural need.And for me , its a need and not love.As long as you want this person or need this person , you dont love him , you love yourself and want "to be loved".Love is not meant to be a selfish thing.Love is much harder and selfless than that.To love is not to wish for someone to be with oneself , but to give up oneself for that someone.Love is not in sharing coconut water on some beach, but in staying thirsty if it helps him.Love is not in him coming to you , but to care for him when you know he would not come to you.

For me , true love is not about the scene with your boy , where white clouds float around your ankles , and a cool breeze flows across the screen , well fed european guys play violins in the background , and you do a salsa with him and kiss him.For me , love's beauty is in being so consumed with it , that you forget your pains and smile , just because he smiled somewhere , aware of your existence no longer.

Love is not about wanting him , but wanting him happiness , with you or without you.

See,I am no authority.I am no love guru .I am no headmaster of the "Institute of Love Matters" ( ILM..doesnt sound bad ).But the way love is seen as some "coochie-coochie-valentines-gift-holding hands" concept leaves me feeling funny.Love is hard.Love is not a punishment which leaves you restless.But it is something which makes you feel a bliss in a punishment , just because he is happy.

I am not looking at any roses placed between yellowed pages.And I do not wish to insult anyone's feelings.Just that I feel, that to love someone is supposed to be something very deep and heartfelt, that when you say "I love you" to a boy, realise the responsibility and commitment it stands for. Its not about you anymore.Its about him.And I am not trying to preach anything here , please. Just that I felt something and wrote it.

Read More

Nationalising tobacco industry is a possible way to control tobacco

Many found it an unusual conclusion (and some apparently radical) when speaking at the “Conference on Strategy Planning on Tobacco Control” I suggested that “Nationalisation of the Tobacco Industry” is a possible solution to tackle the tobacco menace. Many jaws dropped and I could clearly see many mouths wide open on this suggestion; a few also labelled me as “Removed from the reality” and suggested me to become “Practical.”

For me, this “Nationalisation” option was not an out-of-the-blues impromptu bombshell but rather a well thought out and deliberated suggestion. I had carefully pondered over the possible options after considering the actual state of affairs and the condition of governance in India before arriving at the suggested conclusion of taking over of the tobacco industry by the government as one of the most practical ways of containing tobacco. Some may not agree; I am willing to provide all of them reasons on how and why this is one of the best options for India.

It is impossible to restrain the profit minded tobacco companies just by enforcing legislation or other such methods so we have to find more effective and practical ways to stop the five million annual death-toll due to tobacco. The industry is incorrigible and for them profit will always weigh over the human lives. Even with the most benevolent intentions, it is a foolish assumption (I think it is) that the tobacco industry will work for it’s own de-growth. If tomorrow, cocaine and marijuana becomes even partially legal many greedy hounds will happily jump in to sell that too. We have no phase-out plan for tobacco so that’s a good thing for the industry; it sends a clear message that they can continue doing what they are doing and that tobacco will remain in the society for time immemorial.

A phased de-growth can only be worked out by the governments and not the industry. For this it is pertinent that the government takes over the tobacco industry under its complete control by nationalising tobacco and working on a fade-off plan.

This can be done by chalking out a 20 years phase-out plan with a targeted and properly planned 5 to 10 percent de-growth for the tobacco industry every year. After the premeditated period of 20 years the tobacco industry will shrink to the size of less than one sixth of the present size and then it could be extinguished. This kind of planning is also in the interest of the highly exploited tobacco farmers as the earning from tobacco during the intervening period can go to these marginalised farmers and thereby enable a scientifically phased shifting of the tobacco crop with other cash rich crops. Currently all the earning generated by exploiting tobacco farmers and by tobacco sales are siphoned by a handful of rich tobacco manufacturers and individuals but after nationalisation of the industry a part of the tobacco earning could also be used to treat tobacco related ailments and to meet other health care costs.

Who loose if tobacco industry is taken over by the government?

Public; No. All sections of the society stand to gain out of it.
Tobacco users; No; tobacco would be still available as it is on date; there is no proposal to ban it.
Farmers; No; rather they stand to gain by the additional revenue and by better wages if the government takes over the industry.
Government; No; there shall be greater revenue now available besides by phasing out tobacco, the health care cost will also start coming down.
Share holders; No; system to pay them back the share value over a period of time can be worked out and no economic loss would be caused.

So it’s only a win-win situation barring some minor losses to around 10-20 people around the world who illegally siphon most of the tobacco money.

In a civilised society why should any individual be allowed to profit from someone else’s miseries and death? When for a relatively minor violation affecting human health like selling pest infested food articles, etc. one is put behind bars (for years) under the Prevention of Food Adulteration Act, then how can we turn a nelsons’ eye to a deadly product like tobacco?

The other urgent requirement is that of licensing the tobacco trade. When even benevolent medicines are sold only through licensed chemists then why should a fatal drug delivery product, “Tobacco” be openly sold? Immediate licensing of all tobacco related activities will add billions of rupees to the government kitty and also be highly helpful in regulating most of the tobacco related demand side violations.

It is a historical mistake that tobacco became a legal product but now is the time to rectify the mistake. We have all the facts, rationale and means to correct one of the biggest mistakes of the civilised world. Let’s work for it.


(Download the presentation from http://www.burningbrain.org/pdf/tobaccofuture.pdf)

Read More