long distance relationship (LDR)

As you’re all probably aware, In a long distance relationship (LDR). It’s at about this point when I hear a rousing chorus of “WHY?!” from those who are reading. Well, it’s something I’ve been asking myself and something everyone who is apart from their significant other should ask themselves. But let’s backtrack to how it all begun. It can be summed up in one word. Cliché. Need I say more? It just clicked. Anyway things happened quickly, you tend to speed things up when you’re dealing with a lack of time. One minute we were saying that it was just a fling and we should say goodbye, next moment we were checking out the best calling plan because we’d decided we wanted to see what would happen. Basically, we didn’t want it to end. But we knew we’d have to do the distance thing. We didn’t plan anything, we just figured it out as we went along. For those who have been in this situation, you know what I mean when I say it’s hard. It’s really hard. Sometime the phone just doesn’t connect it, some days all you want is a hug from your boy and you can’t have it. They say that communication is the basis of any good relationship, well in a LDR it is a necessity. Without that, you have nothing. You need to be honest and open, and for someone like me who isn’t great at expressing herself it’s been a challenge. If anyone had any trust issues when they started this, they all had to go. Of course you have to feel strongly about the person you’re doing this with but without trust then you shouldn’t bother. You will never know who they’re out with or what they’re doing, even for the most self-assured girl it would be tough. Trust and honesty, both necessary, but two of the hardest things to have. Strangely enough, the hardest thing for me to have to deal with has been the reaction from other people. I’m sure they don’t mean to be anything less than supportive but when you’re constantly being told that it’ll be hard and that it’ll never last, it makes everything a little more difficult. I already know that it’s hard, it’s one that’s involved but it’s not something one have gone into lightly. Everyone has an opinion when it comes to this and everyone thinks their answer is the right one. What I’ve discovered is that we have had to figure out what’s right for us, without listening to everybody else’s doubt. For me, what it comes down to is that I’ve met someone who can deal with my interesting ways. He just happens to live in some other place. All relationships have issues that need to be dealt to and this is ours. We make do with the phone and email, our phone bills are huge but the way I see it is, if he were here we’d be going out a lot so we’re probably saving money. We talk so often that we probably know each other better than a lot of other couples who have been together for the same amount of time. The best thing is that he’s coming back. It was important for me to know that there was more to his decision than just us, I can’t be the only reason for him turning his life upside down. He’s already got a great group of friends here, he’s got family and he’s just got a job so when he does get back, things can be normal. I never thought I’d want a normal, everyday relationship and that’s the beauty of distance. You can find out what you both want, you’ve got time to get to know each other without all the other crap that comes with the beginning part of a relationship. The distance has made me appreciate what we have so when he does come, I know I won’t take it for granted

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True Sharing

A crow found a piece of meat. The moment it picked up the meat, the other crows and eagles began chasing it. The crow soared higher and higher to safeguard the meat. The others chased it relentlessly. Then, suddenly, the crow dropped the meat; the crows and eagles left the chase, and dived towards the meat that had fallen to the ground.

Now that the crow was free from its pursuers, it realised a great truth. "I lost the meat, but then, I have gained great freedom!" Similarly, if we drop our ego, our life will get released from tension. Just as the crow could fly at will in the vast sky, we too can soar in the beauty of life!

Vedas have four sections — Moksha Shastra, Artha Shastra, Kama Shastra and Dharma Shastra. The Moksha Shastra says: "Only when we drop our ego, do we realise the bliss that is within us!" The Artha Shastra advocates: "Earn money out of love; not out of greed".

Greed can never satisfy us. The Kama Shastra advocates: "Convert sex into prayer". The Dharma Shastra says: "Let goodness, not ambition, be the foundation of life". Out of goodness, let ambition arise.

Our parents, siblings, spouse and children deserve our love and care. But while we do not share everything with them, we confide freely with a few friends. Over a period of time, a feeling of intimacy develops.

To help intimacy grow in your marital relationship; treat your spouse as your friend. Let there be transparency in your words and deeds. Some declare with pride, "I do not discuss office matters at home!" The reason given by couples is, "If I share office matters with my spouse, it might not be understood. It might lead to confusion and worry". This may be true to some extent.

But it is not so difficult to overcome this simple hurdle, it is to prevent a wall rising between the two of you.

When you share your troubles, dreams or worries... what will a good friend do? He would just listen, letting you unburden yourself. He would create an atmosphere for meaningful sharing. Mother Teresa would say: "Don't spend your time in judging others; then you will not have time to love them!"

It is absolutely essential that such an intimacy exists between husband and wife. It is worth looking at an advice provided in Christianity to nourish the intimacy between husband, wife and children. "The family that prays together stays together!"

In married life, you have to compromise on certain issues which you may not really like or enjoy. One should learn to accommodate the other's likes and dislikes. Intimacy is bound to develop in the environment of such readiness to accommodate.

You receive as much as you give. One is more blessed in giving than in receiving. One should develop an attitude of giving in to the taste and interest of the spouse on less important issues.

You have to learn to like what you dislike too and even dislike what you like; so that you are above likes and dislikes. Then you will have likes and dislikes, instead of likes and dislikes having you! This is true mastery. Be a master of likes and dislikes.

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Need Of Applying Vermilion In The Parting Line Of Hair ?

At the time of marriage, vermilion is applied in the parting line of bride's hair for the first time. Since that day, as long as her husband is alive, a married woman has to follow this tradition without fail. Applying of vermilion in the parting line of hair has religious as well as scientific reasons. According to Adbhut Ramayan, application of vermilion brings fortune for the husband and he enjoys a long life. Sita had herself related this fact to Hanumana.

According to astrology, parting line of hair is similar to Naagin (female cobra). If after marriage, it is left as it is, it brings great misfortunes for the bride. Application of vermilion in the parting line of hair does away with this fault and at the same time suppresses the Naagin.

Scientifically, the parting line of hair is the most tender spot of women and application of vermilion provides it with due protection because of the presence of metals like mercury in the vermilion. This metal not only controls the electrical impulses in a woman's body but also curbs her excitement and protects the tender spot from external defects. Apart from it, parasites like lice, dandruff etc. also find a suitable home in a woman's hair. Vermilion also keeps these parasites at bay.

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Need Of Rosary With 108 Beads ?

Our ancient sages and hermits have regarded a rosary with 108 beads as highly beneficial. They have also shed ample light on their reasoning behind this belief.

In a year, the Sun has 216000 phases in all. It remains southward and northwards for a period of six months alternatively. Thus, it has two kinds of movements in a year. To find out the number of phases, the Sun can have total number of its phases i.e. 216000 is divided by 2.

216000/2= 108000

Thus in one kind of motion, the Sun has 108000 phases. Removing all the trailing zeroes from this number, we find 108. This number has great religious as well as astrological significance. Hence use of rosary with 108 beads is mandatory.

Entire path of the constellations is spread in all the four directions. There are 27 different constellations that according to astrology mostly influence human life. Our sages multiplied this number of constellations (27) by four and fixed the resultant number (108) as the required number of beads in a rosary. Thus with 108 beads, a rosary depicts the entire path of 27 constellations and all the four directions. Apart from it, each constellation has four segments. Thus, all the 27 constellations have 108 segments in all. This combination is also reflected in 108 beads of a rosary.

According to another hypothesis, a human being breathes 21600 times in an Ahoratra (day and night taken together).

SHAT SHATAANI DIVAARAATRAU SAHASTRAANYEK VINSHATIH |
AITATSANKHYAATMAKAM MANTRAM JEEVO JAPATI SARVADAA ||

Thus half period of an Ahoratra is passed in activities like sleeping, eating, bathing and all other mundane tasks. Another half of an Ahoratra comprising of 10800 breaths must be reserved for reciting God's name. Scriptures also dictate that not even a single breath ought to go waste in our life. Hence scriptures advice that a person tells a rosary with 108 beads atleast once in a day simultaneously chanting the Lord's name, all the breaths find a purpose. If rosary is told with proper rituals, it yields hundred times more benefits. By proper rituals, it means telling of rosary atleast 100 times a day. Thus it equals (108 x 100) to 10800 i.e. equal to half the number of breaths during an Ahoratra. All it means to say that number of telling of rosary that is necessary to make the number of breaths purposeful can be known only with the help of a rosary having 108 beads. Hence provision for 108 beads in a rosary has been provided by our sages.

There is yet another reason for the provision of 108 beads in a rosary. There are 10800 Muhurts in a year. Three major Vedas also contain 10800 couplets. Average age of a human being has also been assumed to be 100 years. If 10800 Muhurts are divided by the average life span of a human being, we find 108. Telling of rosary atleast once a day depicts that a human being has finished study of Vedas in his entire life.

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Why Desire For A Son

In almost every country, people prefer to have a son rather than having a daughter. Almost everywhere, birth of a son is celebrated with great festivity. Even in ancient times, kings and able people perform Putreshti Yagya with a desire for a son. Our ancient scriptures abound with scores of such examples.

There are religious, social as well as economic reasons behind the desire of a son. Right from the moment of birth, a person is burdened with three kinds of debts. These are debts due for the gods, debts due for the sages and debts due for the father. One can easily free himself from his debts, which are due for the gods and for the sages. But to be free from the debts due for the father, one must have a son, preferably a physical son.

A shloka in Sanskrit says - PUM NARKAM TATASTRAAYATE ITI PUTRAH

One, who salves the father from the tortures of hell, is son. The scriptures say that unless and until a real son performs last rites, a person cannot be salved from the tortures of the hell. A son’s duties do not end with the last rites. He has to offer oblations regularly every year in order to appease his dead father and remote ancestors. Socially also, a person who has no son is seen with contempt. Even his wealth is plundered after his death if it had no inheritor. Moreover lineage of such a person ends blindly. Because of all these reasons, everybody longs for a son. It is a son who supports his parents in their retiring life when they become physically weak and frail.

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Worship Of Peepal ?

In our religious scriptures and epics, Peepal has been described as Ashwath tree. Botanically it is known as Ficus religiousa. This name shows religious significance that is associated with Peepal. Our scriptures contain profuse mention of Peepal.
br> According to Skand Purana, Lord Vishnu resides in the root of Peepal. In its trunk live Keshav and in the branches Narayan, in its leaves Hari and in its fruits live all the other gods. Thus from the tip of its root to the top of its shoot, Peepal is an idol of Lord Vishnu. Lord Buddha too had attained enlightenment beneath a Peepal tree. Peepal has been an integral part of our society. There would be no village where one cannot find a Peepal tree. The village Panchayats still gather beneath a Peepal tree in many villages. Watering Peepal with water and sugar is a sure remedy to undo the adverse influence of Shani.

There is a practice of tying a thread around Peepal’s trunk after watering it. There is a story behind this custom. At the time of sea’s churning, Goddess Lakshmi had emerged from the sea. Her counterpart Alakshmi also had emerged with her. Alakshmi symbolized penury and hence, there was no taker for her. She begged Lord Vishnu to take her also with Him. But Lakshmi was not ready to share Lord Vishnu with her, so she protested. Hence Lord Vishnu ordered Alakshmi to take an abode on Peepal tree. Since then, Alakshmi lives there. Anytime an unwary devotee forgets to tie a thread around Peepal’s trunk, Alakshmi comes to ride him or her causing great poverty. That is why custom of tying a thread around Peepal’s trunk after watering it came into practice. Shrimad Bhagwat Gita describes Peepal as the king of all the vegetation. Lord has made Peepal His symbol, hence all the scriptures forbid cutting of this tree.

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Intercourse : When And Why

Exponents of scriptures have intertwined every human activity with certain norms for the benefit of society and saving a man from fall. The whole universe is a result of union of masculine and feminine forces. Life forms are nothing but innumerable distinct manifestation of nature, the invisible force that pervades the entire universe. Barring some lower primitive life forms, all the higher living beings require union of male and female forces for their continuation. Human being is no exception to this rule.

Since the day humans appeared on earth, continuation of this race involved physical union of man and woman. With time, this union evolved into elaborate rituals and refined institution like marriage. Long ago, our ancestors devised certain norms and taboos in order to ensure sanctity in the relation between man and woman. They had complete control over their sexual drives while they honoured the tradition of their clans regarding selection of mate.

For the benefit of the individual and the society as a whole, it is imperative that a thing should be done at the right and auspicious moment. Only then such a thing could be favourable for the doer. The same thing applies to the physical union of man and woman. Scriptures have very clearly opined in this regard. Accordingly, after the menses, intercourse should be carried out on any auspicious moment on days except the fourth, eighth, fourteenth and moonless and full moon nights.

Time from the appearance of menses, up to the sixteenth day is known as Ritukaal for a woman. During this period, a woman is especially in heat and an intercourse without the use of contraceptives is sure to result into a pregnancy. The first four nights of this period are forbidden period. During this time, dark-coloured blood with peculiar smell flows. Contact with such a woman is harmful for both the partners physically as well as psychologically.

Besides the first four nights, intercourse is prohibited on the eleventh and thirteenth nights also. Remaining ten nights are completely conducive for the intercourse. Even on these ten days, if a festival or full moon and moonless nights fall, intercourse must be postponed. Positions of the Sun and the Moon on these days are such that their combined effects influence profoundly the human psychology and the movement of fluids in the body. An intercourse involves perfect streamlining of bodily fluids and if it is carried out on any of these days, adverse effects on the body cannot be ruled out. Even a child that a woman bears, on full moon and moonless nights may carry these defects like having two heads, a tail, four hands, joint bodies or psychological defects like being cruel, daredevils, murderers etc. Even the birds and animals enjoy intercourse at a prefixed time set by the nature. The male bird and animal scent their female counterparts to judge whether they are really ready to conceive or not. They proceed to intercourse only when the female is in oestrous.

Nights have been fixed as the precise period for enjoying intercourse. Even at night, time from nine to twelve is most conducive that to at least one and half-hours after taking dinner. Intercourse is strictly prohibited at twilight of dawn and dusk. It has a spiritual as well as physical significance. An intercourse carried out at unfavourable time always leads to the birth of a demonic child. Ravan is one such profound example. Despite being a Brahmin by birth, he developed demonic virtues for his parents had an intercourse at twilight.

In the modern era, when girls are faring well in almost every field and are no less than the boys, there are many people who long for a son. In their effort to have a son, such people keep on producing many girl children and blame the destiny for their condition. Practice of patience and recognition of appropriate time is important for such people who want to have a son. Such people must carry out intercourse on the even days after the menses that is they should carry out intercourse on sixth, eighth, tenth, twelfth, fourteenth or sixteenth day after the menses. Intercourse on the odd days that is fifth, seventh, ninth, eleventh, thirteenth and fifteenth days after the menses is favourable for having a girl child. It is said that during an intercourse, excess of seminal fluid leads to a boy child whereas excess of Ruj (female fluid of excitement) leads to the birth of a girl child.

It is said that after the menses are over, a peculiar kind of excitement (cupid wave) overtakes the woman. This wave rises and falls on alternate days. On even days, cupid wave subsides whereas on odd days, it surges. Thus, having intercourse on auspicious moments in auspicious days not only maintains sanctity and good health that also helps one to get a desired offspring.

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WHY MARRIAGE IS PROHIBITED WHEN JUPITER ENTERS LEO

The Almighty God after having created all the planets of the solar system also created their abodes i.e. the twelve zodiacs. According to Indian astrology, the sun is considered to be the lord of zodiac sign Leo whereas the Moon is believed to be the lord of Cancer.The remaining five planets are given the lordship of two zodiacs each. Rahu and Ketu being shadow planets are not believed to be independent planets and hence they are not given lordship of any zodiac.

While travelling on its orbit, Jupiter enters the zodiac of Leo after every 13 years. The Jupiter is believed to be the bestower of knowledge and learning and hence one should properly utilize this opportunity in attaining knowledge instead of wasting it on worldly tendencies like marriage etc. One would get enough opportunities to indulge in such activities.

Jupiter is believed to be the preceptor of all the deities including Sun God. It is the duty of a disciple to treat his guru with due respect and reverence whenever he arrives at his home, forgetting about everything else. This is the reason why marriage is prohibited whenever Jupiter enters the zodiac of Leo.

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Why Shivlinga Is Worshipped

The word Linga implies mark or symbol. In Sankhya Darshan, an ancient stream of Indian philosophy even Prakriti (nature) and Vikriti (distortion of nature) have been referred to as Linga. Skand Purana says LAYANAALLINGA MUCHCHYATE. That means, Linga is Pralay. During the Pralay, everything is incinerated and annihilated in Linga. Even Vedas and other scriptures too annihilate in the Linga. All of them then reappear from the Linga when the creation begins afresh once again.

According to a tale in Shiva Purana, once, a dispute erupted between Brahma and Vishnu regarding greatness. Both of them claimed their greatness. The dispute grew so high that, it is said in the tale, Brahma and Vishnu got ready to destroy each other. Just then, a gigantic Shiva Linga appeared between them. It was radiating intense flames. A celestial voice advised Brahma and Vishnu to fathom the beginning and end of the Linga in order to prove their greatness. But none of them could fathom the Linga completely and returned in submission. Lord Shiva then appeared in the Linga and said- "Since I have myself appeared from this Linga, this place will be known as Lingasthan in future and this fathomless Linga will assume a miniature appearance so that all the living beings can easily have a complete sight of it and worship it.

One day, Shankar was roaming in Daarukvana completely naked and carrying His own phallus in hands. His appearance and activity had a luring affect on the women folk of the sages who inhabited the forest. But at the same time, it infuriated the sages as well who cursed Shankar that His phallus would fall on the earth. Indeed, the phallus fell upon the earth but began to burn everything because of its intense flames. All the gods prayed Lord Shiva to end this ordeal. At their prayers, Lord Shiva installed the Linga in a vagina. In this form, Shiva Linga is still worshipped all over the world. Shiva Linga installed in vagina in fact symbolizes divine nature and the supreme masculine force.

Once, Shukracharya visited Kailash to see Lord Shiva but he could not see Him because Shiva was then copulating with Shakti. Indignant Shukracharya cursed Shiva that only His union with the feminine genital would be worshipped.

According to a tale in Narad Panchratra, all other deities except Shiva are womanish in virtues. With the power of their penance, Brahma, Vishnu and Daksha produced Kaalika Devi. Devi asked them to seek a boon. They said- "O mother! You please lure Lord Shiva in the incarnation of Daksha’s daughter."

Kaalika said- "How can I do it. He is a small boy and no match for me."

Brahma assured her that Shiva was not a small boy and was in fact a complete man. Kaalika then took birth as Daksha’s daughter, Sati. In due course of time, she got married to Lord Shiva. Whenever and wherever radiance resulted from their copulation, it fell on the earth and assumed the form of Shiva Linga installed in vagina.

According to another tale, the gods and the demons had frequent wars and every time, the demons used to defeat the gods. Every time after their defeat, the gods took refuge at Brahma. Thus, annoyed by their frequent visits, Brahma led the gods to Lord Shiva and asked about the reason for their frequent defeats. Lord Shiva said- "The gods do not worship my Linga whereas the demons worship my Linga with full faith and devotion. This is the main reason for the gods’ frequent defeats."

Thus, following Lord Shiva’s advice, the gods also started worshipping Shivalinga. By the virtue of this worship, their strength increased steadily.

A Shivalinga typically represents Brahma, Vishnu and Mahesh. Brahma is present at the base of Shivalinga, Vishnu in the middle and the upper part is occupied by Lord Shiva Himself.

MOOLE BRAHMA TATHA MADHYE VISHNUSTRIBHUVANESHWARAH !
RUDROPARI MAHADEVAH PRNAVASYAH SADASHIVAH !
LINGVEDI MAHADEVI LINGA SAAKSHAAN MAHESHWARAH |
TAYOHA SAMPOOJANAANNITYAM DEVI DEVASHCH PUJITAU ||

Nature is the combined manifestation of all the vaginas, which symbolize fertility. It is in the root of Shivalinga also. A Shivalinga established in a vagina shows supremacy of joy and is in itself joy. Shivalinga symbolizes all the ingredients of the universe. Because of all these reasons, Shivalinga is worshipped.

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Is lying ever justified?

Hi Guys ,
Few days back one question came in to my mind that ,Is lying ever justified? or it is not at all justified?People lie in trouble to save themselves from punishment or scolding, kids lie and make excuses when late or not able to do assignment.. We lie when we don’t want to meet or talk to people.. Shop keepers lie so they can sell their stuff, business men lie, politicians lie etc…… So who doesn’t lie?

So can we then say that it is not possible to live a lie free life.I guess every one of us faced a situation that forced us to lie……or these are “justifications” that we present to our selves,which have caused us all to be so indulged in lying…..

What your view guys? Please this time i want answer from every one..and don't make it Flop show!

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What is my purpose of living???

re you asking this question? or...

"Who am I?" or... "Why was I born?" or... "The world is a mess--what can I do about it?" or... "What's the point?" Or variations of these?

Maybe instead, after a lot of hard work, or hard wishing, you have attained your heart's desire (love, wealth, security, recognition or anything else) and found the satisfaction was not what you'd expected? That an emptiness still exists within? Or maybe you are obsessed with the fear of losing it?

Or... did you join a good cause, thinking that's your purpose, only to find out maybe it isn't your purpose after all, but someone else's? Maybe your heart aches because of war--in the Middle East, Africa, elsewhere... conflict, conflict, in your city, at your job, in your family... Maybe you want to do ________ "BUT" ________ (conflict within), and you're at your wits' end.

If anything above describes the way you're feeling, then you can understand what I m going through and if anyone has eer found its answer then do share your views..

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Confused . . ? ?

I dont know what is my present state of mind.. What I want & What I dont? ?
I cant be able to concentrate on anything not in my job.. in my studies.. in my relationship.. in my family.. & in my friends.
I cant stand this even. Its killing me now. Sometimes I feel so restless & start crying loudly lyk hell.
I feel so left out and all alone standing in some isolated space wondering the life`s decision which we have to accept no matter what.
I know I sound so depressing & i should just give all my worries to my God "Lord Krishna" and start meditating to avoid this negative feeling but I just simply dont know how to do it..??
Lots of thgs goes unquestioned
Lots of thgs goes unanswered
& I have no control over anything.

Why this life sucks to the most when needed the most?

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